Change
by Rhiannon Rees - Nibbana Healing Spa
posting courtesy of Whistler Question newspaper

Change is certain, but whether or not we can get use to change and accept it is an entirely different situation altogether. The only certainties in life are that we will be born into this life and that we will eventually pass away.

Eventually is not even certain. The truth is we could pass away in any number of ways that we can’t even imagine. So, given that change is certain, why are we always trying to control and plan our lives. Mostly because we feel that we are in the driver’s seat and that in some strange way it makes us feel better or safe. It makes us feel as if we can be more certain of the outcome of whatever we are controlling…. Who are we kidding???

I grew up in an environment of continual change. So I am thankful in a way for this. A life of change creates little space for “hanging on to” anything. But, I have to be honest; I still struggle in one area. I struggle with change in close personal relationships. Maybe we all do. When you are very use to things being a certain way, it’s very easy to get use to the dynamics of a relationship.

It’s even easier to put people in boxes even though people are always evolving. Recently, I caught up with a friend I have known for 10 years. I have not seen him in the last 3 years. He had changed and amidst this change I was searching for the relationship that we had before. Of course, I too have changed, but it’s harder to see change in yourself. We can’t ever get too comfortable, because when we least expect it we will be dealt a situation that we may or may not be able to handle, but the truth is if we can shed a positive light on it, then we truly have the opportunity to grow and expand in ways that we can’t even visualize.

Some of the most interesting situations of “getting stuck” occur in our close families.It is hard for us to see that how our siblings or parent have changed, because we “see” them in a certain way. This is because we develop habitual ways to handle situations and we lose the ability to see outside the box. We use the reference point that we have, but maybe, we have had it for so long that it does not even apply. Next time you are in a situation that seems strange or things have changed in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. Ask questions and communicate what you are feeling it is the only way you will ever know exactly what has changed.

Change is inevitable so get use to it.